Sorry it's been so long since I wrote - things got busier and busier these last few months. I was feeling really overwhelmed, and didn't want to write an entirely negative, complaining post. To my total shock, however., this semester ended amazingly well. I fully expected to have an A, A-, and a B. In fact, I was so unhappy with my final paper for one of my classes that I would have been thrilled to get that B. But I made 3 As!!! I was so shocked that I logged in to double check that a mistake hadn't been made at least 10 times. But I did it - I ended my first year as a graduate student with a 3.96 GPA (which is kinda funny because that's the same GPA I graduated with a year ago)!
I started this blog about a year ago because several of my friends had suggested it would be a good way to share my experience, documenting the transition from undergrad to graduate life. I thought that transition would be done by now, that I would feel at home in grad school. I certainly felt fully competent by this point in every new job I've started, at community college, and at university. But I don't. Not even close. I think that's the main reason that grad school is such a challenge for me - I feel certain of nothing. I have to talk myself into believing that this was the right decision, that I CAN do this, at least weekly.
Having two successful semesters under my belt should really help as I move forward. It will also help (I think/hope) that I'll be graduate student senator for my department this upcoming year. That was a total shock, by the way. I received an email about a week before voting that I had been nominated for the position... I was shocked and my first impulse was to turn the nomination down. I didn't for three reasons - (1) that would be really rude - someone actually thought enough of me to nominate me, and what? I'm going to spit on that? (2) no one really knows me, no way I would win; (3) if I did win, it could be a nice thing to have a place, something that actually made me a feel a part of the department. So I accepted. Voting opened and there was a tie. I was, once again, shocked. How did enough people know and trust the shy girl, who always sits in the corner quietly listening, rarely speaking? So there was a run-off vote and I won. My response was initially overwhelming fear. Much like coming to grad school actually - I found myself thinking "What did I just get myself into?" But I'm thankful for the nominations and the votes. I've already been to one GSS event and I'm looking forward to getting to know these people better. Also, for the first time at the GHA meeting I felt like I belonged there. I had a tangible purpose and in the upcoming year, what I do will actually matter. So yes, I'm nervous - but I'm thankful.
I'm on break right now - enjoying time with my family and friends in Texas before heading back to St. Louis for my summer semester. I'll try to be more regular with my posts over the summer.
And to end this post - I want to give a great big congratulations to all my friends who just graduated this year: Melissa, Steven, Cheryl, Trish, Ashley, Nicole, Nancy, Samantha, Elizabeth, Brittany, Stacey, Ashley, Tazeen, and anyone else I may have missed (sorry). So Happy for you all and good luck as you move on to the next phase as teachers (Melissa & Steven), grad/PHd students (Nicole, Samantha, Brittany, Ashley), law students (Cheryl, Stacey), and whatever your heart desires!
